Mara

My weekend was filled with pain/difficulty.  But that is only 1/3 of any experience.  There is also (1/3)pleasure/ease, and (1/3)neither-pleasure-nor-pain.  The problem is that I’ve spent the majority of my life clutching and labeling pain.  So it is the first one to jump out at attention based upon my old Karma.

I hurt my back doing “Deadlifts” with less than proper form last week.  I always find that when I am going through anything painful, I am more likely to reach and cling to sense pleasure.  That means I consumed allot of junk this weekend, among other unhealthy things.  But I did manage to hold my commitment to observe Uposatha on Saturday.

Uposatha day also happened to be the day I visited an old friend that is not Buddhist.  It also turns out that we had a third guest join us, Mara was present.  My friend was swimming in old habits that I no longer engage, and he was desperately trying to reach out to me.  I had to be very careful to be firm in my precepts and not get pulled under.  The challenge served to do two things.  It proved to me that I can confront old demons and be an example to others of how valuable it is to be true.

Well, I don’t think I’ll be visiting my old friend for awhile, not unless our time is very structured and preplanned.  I think it also helped that I was observing when I met up with him.  So, although my weekend was filled with pain and difficulties, that was not the whole of my experience.  I did battle with Mara this weekend, and while I didn’t win every battle.  I won the most important ones to me.