Enviro-mental

My entire life I have been surrounded by patriarchal values.  Starting with a vision and story about the creation of all things coming from a “man” they call God.  Then, I was conditioned by culture, language, education and even food.  I am from the land where cat calls and urine dominate every street corner.

The world is filled with contradictions and lies.  Examples like parking lots at bars and killing in the name of god come to mind.  Furthermore, considering biology, and women, I’d think (if I subscribed to theories of creation) that the creator/universe is a woman, and all the rocks within her are the men.  After all, the world I was raised in was clearly shaped and led by my mother.

All this is to say that gawking and paying close attention to a woman’s physical beauty is all but a hallmark of a male’s coming of age.  It wasn’t until I started practicing and observing Uposatha that I truly became aware of my own preoccupation with the body in general.  A form of suffering that is second only to breathing for most.

This week I observed a modified version of Uposatha.  I gave less attention to things like when I ate, and whether I used lotion, etc…  I focused more on my mental actions.  I tried “looking with both eyes” as the Ajahns’ would say.  Whenever I came across physical beauty I reflected on both the internal and external body parts that inspire disgust.  I’ll leave the examples to your imagination.  Needless to say this Buddhist technique works; it allows me to appreciate a woman as a human being.

Well, I’ll never be perfect.  And my awareness still tends to flow out behind any beautiful woman like a flock of birds flying south for the winter.  But whenever I remember - - AH!  I feel a slow ever so subtle shift in my consciousness, and the women of the world don’t stop being beautiful.  I just start realizing women have more to offer, as do men that put their minds to it.  Let’s be clear, I am a product of my environment.  But I have the final decision on what that product will be.