Rainbow

All people wish to feel their hearts fulfilled.  All actions we take are governed by this fact, regardless of where they might lead.  Most hearts are covered up with layer-upon-layer of experiences and associations.  Making it extremely difficult to judge what will satisfy the heart.

We (myself included) have forgotten how to feel joy.  Paying close attention to what makes us smile uncovers such treasure.  But it is not always clear, or what we THINK will make us happy.  Most times it is the very thinking that covers the heart up, making the truth anything but obvious.

I often find myself chasing behind pleasure or running from pain.  Sometimes I can feel the unhappiness within my own actions, which seem to produce instant gratification.  But that gratification is a window to more hunger, more thirst, and more pain.  That always leaves me worse off than how I started. 

Life should be fulfilling, satisfying, and so should my practice.  Since, I only do the same things I do in life within my meditations.  It is after all the same mind that may grind through experiences or feel joy within them.  I didn’t observe Uposatha this past week, and I have not meditated for the past few days either.

I feel like I’m circling around something very important that I must face emotionally.  I am building up the courage to confront it.  Is their gold at the end of the rainbow?  Maybe… But there is definitely wealth to accumulate along the way.