Feeding

I must be responsible for my own wellbeing.  In a world that wishes to cash in on my being otherwise.  Our world encourages us to feed off others.  But not on the aspects that are healthy.  Instead, we aim to feed on their junk.  The empty calories of the world do nothing to nourish us.  Leaving us with the same hunger we met them with, if we are lucky.

I am definitely guilty of this.  I have always had trouble managing my weight.  I tend to lean on the heavy side.  Constantly struggling to find a balance between eating healthy and staying motivated.

It is in that struggle, that very weakness to stay lean that I find the link between mind and body.  What I feed on with my mind ultimately affects what I do with my body.  The best advertising agents are aware of this.  Just pay attention to radio, television, internet, and paper media.  Feel how the methods they employ leverage our moods to their benefit.  "Eating this is fun!  Anything else is boring.  If you don’t buy this you won’t be happy."  Etc…

We are bombarded everywhere we go with junk.  Society wants to keep us hungry, to keep us coming back.  Our hunger feeds their wealth.  But, if we had no power, no choice, they would not spend millions on trying to keep us hungry.  We always have a choice.

I did not observe Uposatha this Sunday.  Instead, I spent time making music with a friend.  I think I needed a break.  I have been struggling with many things lately.  As I am sure we all are.  Considering that life never fails to test us.

In the past I’ve been disciplined with my practice.  But I’ve also been too hard on myself, not allowing myself to find any joy in practicing.  Lately I think I’ve been trying to make up for it, being too easy on myself as a result.  I am struggling to find a balance.  In order to find balance I must be careful what I feed upon with my mind; checking to see whether it helps, or hinders me.