I've been sitting with the question "how can I change the way I live?" I try not to think about it or answer it. Since, that would be coming from the same thinking-mind that I'm trying to change. Instead, I just bring the question into view just before I drop it, and focus on my breathing.
I have a long history of substance abuse. It's easy to be good when you avoid triggers.
Valentines day weekend just past, I'm still single, and my life is not where I'd like it to be. Plenty of fresh and raw reasons to beat myself up.
The opportunity to embrace old demons manifested itself. I didn't ask the devil to leave. But I didn't feed him or ask him to stay. Such is the gift of Right effort in my Practice.
Observing Uposatha has been a testing ground for new and improved versions of my life. I learn things about myself whenever I accept the challenge. Then, I try to bring these things into my daily life. Sometimes without even realizing. So, when the devil showed up in my mind, we danced with the breath. Until he left tired and hungry, while I was rested and well fed.
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